Point of Vision

The Toxic Breath: The 8 Year Vaper

Fri, 15 Apr 2022 17:52:17 GMT

⚠️Before We Begin…⚠️

This is my personal account with my personal observations and conclusions to vape/cigarette use. This is not professional medical advice/instruction for your personal health.

**This is my personal opinion, and you are free to agree/disagree with the view points in this post in a respectful manner. This is

to encourage discussion and reflection, not become a battleground of who’s right or wrong.**

This post may contain disturbing themes and situations along with strong language that is not suitable for those under the age of sixteen (16). Reader Discretion is Advised.

With that being said, let us walk down this road together and view the journey I’ve been on so far.

I wanted to save this post for the one-year mark, but I’ve also been itching to write this for some time now so I figure about 8 months should work out fine! This is the full journey of my smoking experience so far. I hope you enjoy this walk we’re about to go and thanks for coming it really means a lot.

First, we’ve got to go all the way back to late 2014 after I graduated high school and was quite uncertain of where I wanted to go. I was 18, in love, and still getting over the high of graduating! I was so ready to hop into my idealized version of adulthood and show the naysayers that I, Ricardo Psungo , could thrive in the world under my own guidance and direction…unfortunately, this wasn’t the case. I had been asked to join a Beta Missionary Group to spread the Word and Love of God The Almighty in India, but between the pushback of a family member and the fallout of the church in Texas I was unable to fulfil this need to teach others which left me lost for a while. During those summer months I kept up with my running and ended up in a 5K to raise awareness on epilepsy which also landed me a job at literally the best place to work ever: 9Round Jackson! I loved that job and while I had this amazing turnaround experience, I also faced insecurities at home both with myself and my dad. I had felt like a stranger wasting resources in someone else’s home for along (probably since I was 15 or so) and this feeling only grew as I lost my 8-hour distraction after graduating high school. My mental health was at an all-time low, and I felt like I was faking my emotions at the time: I never really felt like I was on solid ground and as the days passed on, I found myself more paranoid and distrusting of everyone I knew, including myself. And then…Jackson State happened.

I didn’t want to go to college because I didn’t really see a point of going since I didn’t get to go on my mission trip which, at the time, was my passion and purpose so instead of a four year institution of education I opted for the two year local gem so I could “get the fluff” out of the way and hop back into ministry once I was through. My stress worsened and my self-confidence was diminishing, but I had to do what I had to do to get back into my passion. I did end up meeting some amazing people and reinforced some friendships I didn’t know where going to be so pivotal moving forward…but that didn’t stop one of my friends from trying to convince me to vape. Now, they knew I wasn’t a fan of smoking cigarettes, but made it clear that what they had in their tank didn’t even contain nicotine. “You can enjoy the benefits of smoking without the kickback! Plus, you end up saving money with a juice bottle verses a carton of cancer sticks!”

***Quick Pause here! I do want to be CRYSTAL CLEAR that I was not strong armed into vaping nor was I shamed for not vaping if I didn’t want to. The final decision was (and still is) mine to make on whether I was going to indulge or not. Not that I believe many people would get the wrong idea, but I do like to make certain things clear to keep the narrative on track. Now…back to the post!***

It really wasn’t as bad as I thought so I ended up buying my first mod and began the long journey of vaping. At first, I was buying 0% nicotine juices for the flavor and to try out tricks like blowing Os, making twisters, hotboxing, etcetera. It was a fun ride, but I eyed the 3% (0.3 mgs) ...y’know, for the flavor..., so I ended up getting my first 3% juice a few months after I started and it was the rush I was missing! I started giving less and less of a shit about what my home problems were because I could always take a hot bath, play some music, and hotbox the bathroom until I about passed out in the tub. This became a routine thing for me which distorted my mind state and dulled my emotional sensitivity. I was less effective at my favorite job and started having terrible headaches that wouldn’t go away with the recommended dose medication, but I didn’t care; I had what I needed to get me through the next day in a tank and bottle.

Not too long after I got well into vaping (Year 2 of JState so 2016) I purposely failed two classes at Jackson State and forced myself to be on Academic Probation which was another block that I simply didn’t care about. I also started my job at Domino’s and lost my position at 9Round Jackson which hurt, but I could smoke that despair away and push forward. Things kept on like this way for a long time and many of my friends knew me as the guy with Deep Lungs because I could hit the highest setting on my updated mod without choking (180 watts). I was working, drinking, and vaping as often as possible and when I hung out with friends, they had to experience the hotbox sessions in any vehicle were in and, I’ll admit, those moments were legendary! I could out smoke anyone and I could blind you in a minivan within three minutes! But my body knew it was past a threshold and it wasn’t sure how long it could keep Ricardo Psungo alive.

Once I got into 2017 – 2018 I was on 6% juice (0.6 mgs) solidly but would hit as far as 12% (1.2mgs) and 24% (2.4 mgs) if a friend of mine had that juice in their mod. Some of you that know your levels might think “bro, 0.6 mgs isn’t that much: Marlboro Menthols have 1.3 mgs at the bare minimum,” but when you take into consideration I was finishing 30 mL bottles within a two week timespan (if not sooner) and constantly filling up my 5mL tank due to how hard I was dragging a puff you might change your tune a bit. My headaches had turned into full blown migraines and Tylenol Extra Strength wasn’t cutting it. Aleve Liquid Gels wasn’t cutting it. Advil, Bayer, AC, nothing was working to quell the pain in my head. My poor eating habits were catching up as well and lack of exercise began to wear at me even more. Each puff I was pushing myself closer to death’s door and I knew I’d be knocking on it soon, begging to be released. I was depressed more often than not and not much excited me. My passion for writing slowly fell to the wayside and my connection towards my emotions and people was virtually nonexistent: I still felt things, but it always felt like someone else was experiencing the feeling and telling me how it felt to be in that state rather than me actually feeling the emotion itself. I was always paranoid until I hit my vape and believed I was clearing my head to think when I was really organizing a mess with…more mess. I never really slept well, especially when my son was born, and my body temperature always felt off due to me being either hot or cold and never quite warm. I came to learn it was because my blood pressure had reached 170/120-140 on a regular basis which is Hypertension Stage 3 and needs to be looked at by a medical professional immediately which I did not know at the time. I was also prescribed Rizatriptan by my doctor who gave me a lower Mg dose because I wasn’t honest about my vaping habit (which yes, it still counts as smoking and yes, you should ALWAYS be honest with your doctor so they can care for you fully otherwise they can’t be as effective in your treatment). I bailed on the prescription and went to generic migraine medicine. The bottle held 200 caplets in it. How many caplets do you think I took within a week?

20?

30?

60?

How many do you think I took in a week?

The answer...I could go through half a bottle within a week (sometimes less). I started buying 2 bottles at a time because I didn’t want to run out and be left with “basic” Tylenol. I would later learn that this was damaging my stomach lining from my doctor to who I was, once again, not honest with when it came to how much off-brand Excedrin I was taking. These migraines would greatly hinder me at work/home and leave me in the fetal position for several minutes before getting to “manageable” levels. Further into my journey I had two separate instances where I had an intense migraine from Monday to Sunday with no relief until the following Monday. I could go through a bottle and a half during those two instances (that’s roughly 300 caplets in a week/ 600 for the TOTAL two instances). Even with the recommended max, my consumption of these pills was WAY OVER THE NECESSARY LIMIT!

To frame how fatal my situation was at the time, I had (and still have) a mild (innocent) heart murmur which isn’t bad on its own but could become a problem if my heart isn’t properly taken care of. I was experiencing poor circulation constantly, tingling around my eyes, “random” pain in my chest and joints, mind fog and slight memory loss, frequently passing out while driving out of nowhere, and the list could go on. To sum it up…there is extraordinarily little reason for me to medically be alive right now! I was killing myself in the slowest way possible and most of this came from vaping that 6% nicotine. I knew I had to stop, I told myself I had to stop but I couldn’t give it up…not when I had come so far with it. I’d rather my heart give up on me than put down this one joy in life…this one thing that made me whole. I did put down the tanks and go for disposables with limited puffs, but it wasn’t what my body was crying for: it was a patsy so I could keep vaping and justifying why I hadn’t quit yet. The migraines decreased slightly, and my blood pressure did go down some, but I was still in the red zone…at least until I met my friend/mentor McKynna. Over a year ago, I started my dōTERRA journey and began asking myself the tough questions. I began to crack the shells I had put over myself almost 7 years ago at the time so I could understand why I was in the state I was in. I learned so much about myself and dōTERRA during that time period and I slowly began to make the necessary changes to myself and my life so I could not only live longer, but connect with people in deeper, more meaningful ways than I had been. With this encouragement and the nonjudgmental environment, I found less excuses to continue with vaping and stay in this growing pool of depression: I was learning to float again! Sometime after that I reached out to Todd, my newest brother and magical spiritualist. We walked together on a beautiful sound bath journey where I could confront myself on a deeper level and understand more of the man I could be. It was at that time Ricardo Armando was realized!

This new energy ignited a fire in me I thought long gone: the fire to create and support those who had the creative mindset, but I had to get rid of the toxic breath I had grown accustomed to. Fast forward to August 2021. I was finally getting my wisdom teeth removed (another reason I was suffering from intense migraines) and one of the criteria for me to have surgery was “no smoking 48 hours before the procedure.” Another was “You cannot smoke or suck anything 5 days after surgery” (pause). With these two rules in mind, I stopped vaping on August 20 ^th , 2021, and I haven’t smoked anything since. It’ll be 8 months since I put down the nicotine and I can honestly say I have never felt better! My lungs feel lighter, my head no longer experiences migraines of any kind, headaches can be dealt with plenty of water and the recommended dose of Tylenol or Excedrin if the pain is a little too intense, my blood pressure is closer to 120/80 (I’ll have to check this again when I get another blood pressure monitor), and I don’t always feel like my chest is going to cave in on itself. There’s still so much more work for me to do on myself, but I finally feel like Ricardo Armando! I’m learning how to feel and connect with my emotions again, I’m gaining my passion for creating again, and I’m falling in love with myself again which translates into my love for others! I am so grateful I’m no longer connected to nicotine and built a system of friends and tools to support me on my journey so far! It’s been a wild ride, but what I can say from my experience is vaping was detrimental to my health and I would advise others to stop while they’re out of the red zone. I do understand each person is different and their experiences will vary from mine, but I personally don’t think vaping is any safer smoking cigarettes in the long run because you can end up in a similar position as me from 2017 where you need immediate medical attention and don’t know it. However, you are old enough to make this decision on your own and I will not judge you one way or the other because I have now experienced both sides of the spectrum and know how difficult it truly is to give up smoking/vaping altogether.

My personal challenge for you is:

- if you know someone who vapes or smokes, don’t try to make them feel like the bad guy in order to get them to stop something unhealthy. Provide a safe space for them to open up and support them on their journey if they do decide to quit smoking. Respect them if they choose not to stop unless it’s an immediate medical emergency.

- if you smoke/vape and you want to stop for ANY reason, please see your doctor to help you get started and/or start with building your support group of friends and tools (I am happy to be your friend and provide you tools through dōTERRA) so you can set yourself up for success. Eliminate excuses slowly, but surely and substitute a cigarette or a 15 minute vape break with gum, fruit, meditation, or something else healthy to help build consistency within your final days of toxic breathing.

This is my journey so far and I can’t wait to celebrate the year milestone with you all come August 20 ^th , 2022! You've got this and I've got this and together we can move forward in good health and positivity!

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This is a long read so if you made it this far you are the real MVP! Thank you for sharing your time with me and walking on my path for a bit! If you liked this post, please share it, and comment a new topic for me in the section down below!

If you’re interested in dōTERRA and you wanna learn more or want to get back into this beautiful system, please feel free to message me on Facebook (Ricardo Armando) or email me at dantevega@pointofvisiontm.com and I would be more than happy to start walking with you on your journey towards a healthier, more fulfilled you!

As always, thank you so so much for reading and Until Next Time Visionaries…

Go Forth in Peace and Love!

The Imposter

Thu, 07 Oct 2021 22:57:03 GMT

⚠️Before we begin…⚠️

***I am NOT a Licensed Therapist, Psychologist, or Psychiatrist. Any professional advice should be received from a Medical Professional. ***

***THIS POST CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL/DISTURBING SITUATIONS! If you are easily disturbed or below the age of 16 this post is NOT for you! This a First Person Retelling of my story leading up to my suicide attempt and the life there after. This story is dated, but I recommend you check out my less intense posts on my Facebook Page "Point of Vision" (Click the Facebook Logo to Explore)***

*** This is NOT meant to glorify suicide or encourage anyone to act on reckless behavior/decisions: This is strictly to encourage discussions on a sensitive topic revolving critical mental environments. Please Contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline (1-800-273-8255) or a local Mental Healthcare Professional if you and/or a loved one is struggling with suicidal thoughts. ***

***Be respectful regardless of your stance . You are not required to agree or disagree with me or anyone who comments, but respectful banter is required to ensure we have a safe, open environment. ***

Hey! I was wondering if we could catch up? Maybe talk for a bit? Ok cool! I’m running low on spoons if I’m being honest...Yeah, I didn’t make too much sense a second ago: just know I’m glad you’re here. I’m gonna do something I don’t do very often and that’s lay myself bear to you. Take a moment to just let it all out. I’m sorry in advance for the length of this post.

First, I wanna tell you I’m doing very well. I am by no means mentally ill and my state of mind is pretty positive on the future and all it can bring. I have some great friends to rely on, an amazing family to come home to, and an imagination that impresses me on different occasions. It wasn’t always like this however.

I was diagnosed with mild depression when I was about 18 and the years leading up to that diagnosis would have probably changed the psychologist’s verdict if we had met earlier in my life. Needless to say, I walked a very fine line between rain clouds and pin cushions for a long time. I never saw myself as impactful or important. I never looked in the mirror and said “Man, I clean up nice.” The conversations in my head went a lot more like this:

“Oh, you decided to get up this morning? What are you going to fuck up this time?”

“I’m just going to school, keeping to myself, and heading home. Could you not do this today?”

“ Do what exactly? I’m not the one failing geometry, sleeping in computer class, or hopelessly crushing on a girl that could pay you no mind. Let’s not forget God’s not answering your prayers for “strength” and “wisdom.” Why would God waste his time answering weak shit like that?”

“Look, I know what I’m worth and that isn’t much so can you just leave me be? I just wanna get through the day and come home.”

“You know what you’re worth implies you’re worth something and God knows you ain’t worth shit! It’s good to fake your confidence though. The way you play all your little friends at church and school by saying your “profound” prayers or saying one thing that actually is a little funny. You’re fake and hollow and a huge disappointment.”

I think you get the picture. I never knew how much it would break my mom’s heart when I would ask what it’d be like to live without me then try to play it off as “just a question, ” or a “spiritual” experience. I thought I was so clever playing off my writing assignments (known as self reflections) to my 7th-8th grade teacher as “just my imagination,” or a “spiritual journey.” I kept breaking and falling further into a darkness I was surrounded by. I started finding peace in lying completely still, being relieved by sitting alone. I just didn’t want to be anyone’s burden. My grades slipped terribly and I knew I was disappointing my parents who worked so hard to raise me. I didn’t want my last name anymore. Maybe if I just wasn’t a Psungo they would be alright. My younger brother’s doing better that I am. Hell, I look up to him!

The masks never became easier to wear, just more normal to have on. I could fake laughter, emulate happiness, radiate an aura of blinding light if I wanted, but those masks would begin to fall apart and my heart broke into pieces when I could find time to lock myself away to silently weep on the floor. Distractions from a sadness I didn’t understand, yet grew familiar with were in order which snowballed into writing a journal, genuinely praying for others, and diving into youth group events head on. The imposter didn’t care about these distractions. The imposter didn’t care about the masks. The imposter knew it had me in the palm of its hand and would command my thoughts with a war master’s intelligence.

Then, I finally met a girl (as you do) and thought maybe she could be light at the end of the tunnel. The Imposter cocked his eyebrow up and burst out laughing. I wanted to prove it wrong! She validated my worth, my existence! She understood me!

If only my teenage self wasn’t so stubborn and naive...I subconsciously knew I was falling into a trap! I knew from her background I wasn't in her league. I knew that if I knew I was worthless she would think so too, but I need something, anything to pull me away from the brokenness I carried.

I’m sorry I gave you such a tall order even though I’m pretty sure you didn’t know this. My first kiss was almost my only kiss and it wasn’t because she didn’t validate me (I already knew things weren’t like Hollywood) : I was done. I was done feeling exhausted. I was done feeling pain and sadness from every corner of my life.

**Really quick before you continue: I did say I was going to get personal, but certain things aren’t really appropriate to speak about for personal reasons not just for me. Just know the following was NOT just because a girl was uninterested. I was a teenager, not stupid. Back to the post**

I was tired of wearing a mask everywhere I went. I couldn’t keep switching and for the longest moment of my life I couldn’t feel my heart beat. I just knew if I could die right now I could set everyone free from me. No more dead weight. No more bad grades. No more wondering if your son is gay! Just peaceful sleep. I understood then why the Imposter laughed at me: it knew I would be coming home soon and neither Heaven or Hell would let me take residence. I was genuinely okay with it and figured those scenes in the bathtub would be easy, so I got to work. Then the bathtub wasn’t a good idea so the bedroom was the next best thing since my bed faced the wall. My body ached, and my blood ran cold, but this needed to happen. This was the only good thing I could do in my life.

A few practice swipes with the Imposter teasing me and it telling me to “hurry the fuck up” helped me through. It was finally time...I didn’t pray for God’s forgiveness, I didn’t write a note explaining everything, I just put my bloody arm next to me and waited.

**inaudible whisper**

This whisper gave me paused, but the Imposter steeled my resolve once again.

**louder inaudible whisper**

My hands started shaking as I lost the motivation to pull the metaphorical trigger.

“Oh my God, are you seriously fucking up killing yourself too? I would do it myself, but I’m stuck in your stupid head with your stupid hands. Just hurry this up so I don’t have to deal with you anymore.”

“I know, I know...I’ll be quick this time...”

“Fucking thank you! Well, go on then. Off with you. Get it? Cause you’re gonna... you know what, never mind. It went over your head anyway.”

It laughed and laughed and I knew we would finally separate after this. No more pain, no more heartbreak, no more masks. Then the whisper turned into this:

“STOP! YOU’RE HURTING MY MASTERPIECE!!!!”

I’m still not sure if God was talking to me or to the Imposter or both, but I stopped and cried as His Hand guided me to restful sleep. The next few months were difficult, but people like my youth pastor and a friend of mine from a totally different belief system helped me through to get me to where I am today. I remember my pastor hugging me with the love of a friend and father (he’s a pretty great father today by the way and a busy one at that). I remember my friend in geometry looking at me with eyes of concern and understanding after she saw my arms. And later people like my two best friends helped me see that maybe I do have a purpose.

I don’t claim to understand everything that happens in life or claim to be a great man, but I can say because of these people I have the chance to find out what I can do. Not only did God support me, but my support group rallied behind me and gave me the opportunity to eventually be a husband and a father. They gave me the strength to pursue my passions a martial artist and a writer. They gave me new life.

Why bring this up now? Because my heart was moved by the story I’m linking below.

Please speak up if you find yourself with a thunderstorm of self doubt. Seek professional help if you’re falling too far below. Or just say “you’re out of spoons” and we as your support group and community will rally behind you as best we can. I’m in your corner and I support your steps to new life. Your life is truly a gift and I am thankful to have you here.

Check out this story by clicking the link below and share this post if you want. Thanks for listening.

- Your Reinvigorated Writer

https://youtu.be/I6ChrfM3XNE

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If t h i s i s y o u r f ir s t t i m e r e a d i n g t h i s s t o r y I h o p e s e e i n g t h i s v i e w p o i n t h e l p s y o u s e e th e p a i n s t r u g g l e d a n d t h e g r o w t h t h a t o c c u r r e d a f t e r . M y o t h e r p o s t s o n t h i s s i t e g o i n t o m o r e d e t a i l o n t h e w h y , b u t t h i s g o e s i n t o t h e t h o u g h t s a n d a c t i o n s l e ad i n g u p t o t h i s c h o i c e . I t i s a b i t r o u g h a s m y w r i t i n g w a s v e r y r a w b a c k w h e n I w r o t e t h i s , b u t t h e e m o t i o n i s j u s t as r a w a n d I h o p e t h i s s h i n e s t h r o u g h ! I f y o u ' d l i k e t o s u p p o r t t h i s s p a c e and m e so w e c a n g r o w a n d c o n t i n u e c r e a t i n g a s a f e s p a c e f o r o t h e r s, c l i c k t h e " S u p p o r t / S e r v i c e s " t a b a n d c h o o s e a n y s e r v i c e s o r d o n a t i o n o p t i o n s .

T h a n k y o u f o r r e a d i n g th i s r e p o s t a n d t h a n k y o u f o r s u p p o r t i n g ! U n t i l N ex t T i m e . . .

G o F o r t h i n L o v e & P e a c e !

The Mental Edge: Discussion of a Vile Fog

Thu, 07 Oct 2021 00:59:57 GMT

⚠️ Before we begin… ⚠️

*** I am NOT a Licensed Therapist, Psychologist, or Psychiatrist. This is my opinion based on personal belief, research, and observation. Any professional advice should be received from a Medical Professional. ** *

*** THIS POST CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL/DISTURBING SITUATIONS! If you are easily disturbed or below the age of 16 this post is NOT for you! There are less intense posts on my Facebook Page you can support and discuss (Click the FB Logos to explore) ***

*** This is NOT meant to glorify suicide or encourage anyone to act on reckless behavior/decisions : This is strictly to encourage discussion on a sensitive topic revolving around critical mental environments. Please Contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline (1-800-273-8255) or a local Mental Healthcare Professional if you and/or a loved one are struggling with suicidal thoughts . ***

**** Be respectful regardless of your stance . You are not required to agree/disagree with me or anyone who comments, but respectful banter is required to ensure we have a safe, open environment . ****

With disclaimers out of the way let’s begin.

“What does it feel like to be suicidal?”

“Do you have to have a mental disorder to…y’know?”

“How do you stop suicidal thoughts?”

These are questions I’ve been asked in the past when coming out with my story, so I’d like to share my observations and experiences on the subject. It’s not easy to talk about and I believe this gets overlooked fairly often because we don’t ask these questions and don’t seek understanding out of fear and guilt, but I say it’s time we start diving deeper because in doing so we increase the odds for the next person to choose life when they’re going through similar obstacles.

So, let’s start with the first question: “What does it feel like to be suicidal?” I believe a lot of people see this as a sudden, frenzied state that (objectively) comes out of nowhere. Maybe we talk about the external situations of abuse of some kind or bullying, but the internal battles are usually left out or speculated on if a note is left behind. For me, being suicidal feels like a constant presence wrapped around my mind and soul. Think of the prodding feeling you get when you’ve been caught in a lie or been discovered sneaking around…now think of having that feeling linger around like a rolling fog and it constantly thickens or thins depending on your mental fortitude or intensity of the situations around you. In my case, depression feeds into this fog and the weight of all the mistakes I’ve made and all the perceived negativity only works to isolate me and make me feel powerless. On the bad days I can see this fog building up and sometimes I choose to let it take me because in those moments I’m not the person I want to be and I feel like I’ll never be the person I strive to be.

“Who could you possibly inspire?”

“You? A…personal trainer?”

“You think your words matter, huh?”

“If the universe if barely a footnote in creation, where does that put you?”

“You think you have a right to be angry, especially when your sins are greater and grander than those your anger is directed at?”

“You should go fuck yourself you useless little shit! You deadbeat fucking husband! You…you go for nothing dad! You’re just like your father you fucking bitch!”

These phrases and more intensify and drains all the joy out of my bones. The inspiration to strive for greatness dwindles like a dying fire and is replaced with acid rain burning my skin. This feeling builds when my self care suffers and my viewpoint on life is negatively skewed; keep in mind this isn’t my mindset all of the time or even most of the time, but it's always there at different levels. Most days, I can just brush these off and not dwell on these negative feelings, but there are days where it’s more difficult to shrug these off as "just bad thoughts" . Now, this is just one of many outlines I’ve experienced and one I wouldn’t wish on anyone because feeling like you’re worse than nothing is a despair that not many people survive. You could blame my Depression, but I see my depression more like negative energy that, left unchecked, can alter my already negative mindset if I’m not in the best headspace.

And that leads to the next question: “Do you have to have a mental illness to commit suicide?” I believe the answer should be obvious, but I’ll go into detail as to why suicide/suicidal thoughts aren’t mutually exclusive to people with mental illnesses. A friend of mine came to me in confidence and talked about wanting to self harm and inferred they had contemplated the idea of ending their own life. To my knowledge, they have not been diagnosed with any mental debilitations or been prescribed any kind of mental health medicine to treat possible disorders or illnesses, so how is it possible they were struggling with such dangerous thoughts? I believe the situations they were and are dealing with began to bend their fortitude beyond the breaking point. Couple this with their career as a social worker where cases can scar your heart in ways you couldn’t imagine and I believe these two factors and others I may not know about contributed to these thoughts taking root in their mind. Now, I’ve always know them as a fiery person with a bold spirit and over time we’ve gotten close enough to where I believe they would confide to me if they had any kind of mental diagnosis and would encourage others to speak up about their own struggles, but this is not the case. This leads me to believe (and statistics show) not all suicides stem from mental disabilities: anyone can have this mindset if the environment, circumstances, or mental health is in a negative place (especially for long periods of time).

“Okay, so if everyone is susceptible and feeling suicidal can creep and build up on you…how do we stop these thoughts from taking root? How do we survive?”

The answer may seem simple but the more specific you get, the more complex the solution can become. You could say something pretty like “ If you don’t sweat the small stuff you’ll be more fulfilled,” however, what do you consider small stuff because that varies from person to person. You could say “ Just visit you local psychologist and they’ll take care of you,” but what if this is not financially viable for you? The list goes on, but I think you get the point: certain specifics need to be tailored to the person in question…we can’t necessarily do that here, but I can give you some broad strokes that can help get you on the right path.

DO NOT Neglect Self Care! There are several different forms of self care available and I believe we all have something to fall back on in this aspect, but neglecting this is an easy way to send yourself down the rabbit of self doubt, heightened guilt, over self criticism. Find your self care routine, activity, safe place, etcetera and regularly rejuvenate your mind, body, and soul so you can maximize your best self and step away from the edge you could find yourself on.
Change your diet up a bit! This doesn’t have to be drastic and it doesn’t mean " only eat a lettuce leaf a day" : this means replace a fast food meal here and there, drink more water than soda, exchange those cheese puffs for some grapes now and again. Sometimes, a purely unhealthy diet will have you feeling heavier both mentally and physically; simply changing the game a bit can help your body and mind feel better about itself because the nutrients you’re getting is going to repair muscle, help blood flow, and clear your mental fogginess.
Look for natural solutions (like dōTERRA)! Of course I’m going to talk about dōTERRA because my mental health has greatly improved with dōTERRA’s support! I’m not saying modern medicine doesn’t have its role or that its effectiveness on ALL mental ailments is moot, but in the event you’re not able to afford the local mental physician or have been on prescriptions and it’s made you feel worse, dōTERRA has plenty of options to support positive mental vibrations and encourage a positive essence to work with your body instead of around it. Simply adding a natural essence to your everyday life can greatly impact you and your views on not only yourself but the people around you!

All in all, when it comes to suicidal thoughts they can be persistent, invasive, and overpowering. They don’t just appear out of thin air and can manifest in people of all mental states if the conditions are unfavorable. Yet, we do have some saving grace: we have each other and if we work together whether it be through conversation, dōTERRA, or finding our self care groove, we can become the blinding lights we hope to be! We can be the inspiration we crave! We can do more than survive: We can thrive! The first steps begin with open dialogue in a safe place and from there we can truly support those suffering mentally! I ask you to join me on this venture and together we can change the world!

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If you made it to the end I thank you for reading this far! I know this is not a topic to take lightly, but I hope this encourages you to start discussions with friends and loved ones about their experiences with suicidal thoughts and/or mental disorders because these conversations are important to have in a safe space so we can learn from each other and improve on the wellness of those who have been silently suffering in this capacity. If you liked this or any of my other posts, you can support me on my "Support/Services" page where I have everything from Creative Coaching options to dōTERRA Solutions to just saying "I/We want to see you succeed and grow this community" through Patreon! Whatever you choose to do to support me and this community I am extremely thankful for because this helps me reach others and fulfill many other dreams! All that being said, thank you for reading and supporting. Until Next Time....

Go Forth in Peace & Love!

The Vibrant Connection (Intimacy)

Fri, 10 Sep 2021 02:49:31 GMT

⚠️Before we begin…⚠️

**I am NOT a Licensed Therapist, Psychologist, or Psychiatrist. This is mine opinion based on personal belief, research, and observation. Any professional advice should be received from a Healthcare Professional.**

**Be respectful regardless of your stance. You are not required to agree or disagree with me or anyone who comments, but respectful banter is required to ensure we have a safe, open environment.**

Let’s dive in shall we?

So, I wanna start by laying out what this post ISN’T . This isn’t:

A push for more sex in your relationship
A push to have less sex in your relationship
A Blame Game post
A Step-by-Step Guideline of what you need to do

The reason I start of this way is because there are too many people who hear the word “intimacy” and immediately think this is synonymous with sexual activity. Now, intimacy DOES include sex, but I believe intimacy can go and should go deeper than what can be enjoyed between the sheets because limiting the times you are intimate can have a severe impact on you and your partner as you move into different stages of life.

“Okay, but if you’re not being a stereotypical male and pushing for more sex what are you presenting?”

“Yeah, why IS this important?”

Well, to answer your well timed questions, let me ask a question of my own: Can you describe a moment or memory where you longed for your partner? Craved their presence? Needed their essence enveloping you?

Can you picture the moment in your head and relive the excitement, the vulnerability, the closeness? If you can and the moment isn’t wrapped up in sex then this is an example of intimacy. You see, when it comes to intimacy within couples I believe it’s very important to have consistent intimate moments with your significant other to keep your relationship progressing and to fall deeper in love with them (if that’s your goal in the first place) . Intimacy is one of the keys to keeping your romance off the rocks, but if intimacy encompasses more than sex…what is intimacy?

Webster’s synonyms include:

Closeness
Familiarity
Inseparability

Google’s definitions:

a close familiarity or friendship; closeness.
a private, cozy atmosphere.

Personally, I think closeness is my favorite synonym when speaking about intimacy because the deeper your connection is to someone, the closer you are. And the journey can start with a number of things that don’t include sex or activities that immediately lead to sex: you can continue to fall in love with your partner in a lot of different ways and that should be exciting news….but, the problem I’ve noticed with the couples I’ve helped or observed is intimacy is being shut down more often than not making the closeness they’ve built over their journey slowly dissolve right in front of them and they don’t even realize it until there’s a major problem.

“What do you mean by that? Shutting down intimacy?”

“You sure you’re not talking about sex? It sounds like you mean sex.”

What I mean is the “boyfriend/girlfriend” status, the “husband/wife/partner” status is in the process of being the “best friend” status ( if it hasn’t reached that point already) because there’s not a constant level of vulnerable closeness being reached that can’t be reached by your best friend. Still confused? Let me put it simpler terms: If your relationship with your romantic partner can be copied and pasted to your best friend(s) and there’s not a significant difference there is a problem.

“But I thought you were SUPPOSED TO marry your best friend!”

Sure, but that doesn’t mean you leave your partner in that status emotionally and spiritually. You should have things you can only do with your romantic partner, not because your relationship status changed on paper, but because you and them have gotten to know and fall for each other on a deeper level than anyone else in their life. These things can range from cuddling to unique date nights to tailor made traditions around the holidays. Taking the time to cultivate this vibration can send you on a journey full of love, joy, and cheer because your are getting to experience these small and big moments together with someone who cares about you deeply and is comfortable showing you the most vulnerable parts of themselves in a spiritual/emotional space. This doesn’t mean there won’t be ANY overlap with the things you can do with your best friend(s), but there has to be some distinction between your best friend(s) and your romantic partner.

“Okay, but what are some examples of shutting down intimacy?”

Some examples of this are:

Lack of touch (ie: holding hands, hugs, cuddling, kissing)
Lack of couple activity (ie: Netflix binges, nature walks, deep conversations)
Lack of communication (ie: relationship check-ups, genuine and comfortable laughter, emotional support)

Some of these are common with couples in general, but each relationship will have one or two things that stand out (like an endearing name or special activity) because both of you are unique and together will create something unique. Now, with some of the struggling couples I’ve observed I’ve noticed partners who don't like to be touched by the other in any way, sly remarks being made passive aggressively about the other, laughter sounding forced when the partner is in the room, and so on. This dissension doesn’t always lead to toxic behavior, but can bring out the worst in the other due to frustration and where is that frustration coming from? A lack of intimacy, ie: a lack of vulnerable closeness.

“Alright, but where does sex come in?”

Well, sex is one of the most intimate acts we can engage in physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Exploring your partner’s body and feeling the heat as your hearts beat rapidly has to be about as close as you can get because you can sense how your partner not only feels about you but the world around you. Of course there are no hard and fast rules as to the amount of sex a couple should be having, but I will say consistent denial of sexual activity can say a lot without having to say too much. This does exclude MEDICAL reasons and if I have to explain that there’s a different conversation y ou and I need to have. But, outside medical reasons, constant denial can portray you’re not comfortable with your partner, you have an issue with your partner that hasn’t been worked out, or you aren’t physically attracted to your partner for one reason or the other (even if this is not 100% the case) . Sex does fall under Intimacy so closing that door without any explanation , conversation , or agreement can play a factor in the downfall of the relationship. And before you say anything, I’m well aware there are couples who do not have sex and are completely happy: as I stated before, intimacy covers more than just what you can do between the sheets; however, couples in this category usually have a mutual understanding that this is not something they wish to venture into for any numbers of reasons and are genuinely okay with it. Couples who don’t set that boundary and then consistently deny sex or wave sex around like it’s a reward and not moment to bond on a deeper level can find themselves with a frustrated/disconnected partner.

Does this mean happy couples are going at it every single night? Not necessarily, but happy couples who do have relations aren’t usually going to go months on end without making some time to explore, regardless of kids, jobs (unless deployed or working overseas or across regions for long periods of time) , or life in general. This also isn’t THE signal showing the relationship is moving in the right direction because there are plenty of toxic relationships where the sex is great, but the relationship stinks: I just wanted to give a small outline of what I’ve seen and experienced when it comes to sex and relationships.

So…how can we be more intimate in our relationships?

Learn your partner’s love language: love languages can make all the differences because you might be expressing your love the best way YOU can, but if you’re constantly expressing that love in a language your partner doesn’t naturally speak your efforts can be downplayed sometimes which can hurt you emotionally and not impact your partner effectively.
Do something small on a consistent enough basis. Whether it be a nice dinner, small notes weekly, or engaging in your partner’s passion this can build traditions, families, and your connection with your partner. Basically, this let’s your partner know you’re thinking of them and vice versa.
Check in on your partner. Relationship check-ins can be the saving grace your relationship is looking for because this opens up the floor for your partner to tell you what they think you guys should work on and what they think you guys are solid on. Especially if the environment you guys have is healthy and judgement free you can take your relationship to the next level!

All in all, I believe when the connection between couples is vibrant the chance of them separating decreases by a huge amount. The respect and bonds you forge and refine within the confines of the Vibrant Connection can be massive and so can the love you share with your partner if you make the effort to be intimate consistently.

I challenge you to discover something new about your romantic partner and do something small for them this month if you don’t do so already. Let’s deepen our connection with our relationship partners and grow with them in the roads ahead.

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As always, thank you for reading this post and supporting Point of Vision! I hope I was able to share my thoughts on intimacy within romantic relationships clearly and open up the floor for healthy discussion between you and your partner! If you enjoyed this post, make sure you comment down below and share this post with your friends, family, etc! Also, if you wanna support me and my content you can head over to the "Support/Services" tab and check out my Patreon , my dōTERRA Advocate Website , and my Creative Coach services! I'm here to support you on your journey and provide a space for us to grow, speak up, and discuss different topics (as well as create Worlds with Words)!

Well, Visionaries I thank you once again and can't wait to see what you create!

Until Next Time...

Go Forth in Peace & Love

Ricardo, A History

Thu, 26 Aug 2021 23:56:21 GMT

⚠️Before We Begin...⚠️

I want to thank you for taking your time to read this post. This post is special to me and I hope this serves as brief overview on me and as an invitation to speak your truth and follow your goals.

You're welcome to comment any questions you have and I will answer as best as I can in a follow-up post.

So... here I am doing the thing I said I was going to do…it’s a lot more difficult than I expected, but nonetheless this is a project I must see through because, for me, I can challenge myself to be better and do better. The purpose is to put my past experiences in a pot with my future dreams and manifest a beautiful dish in the present so you can see some of my phases and connect with me more on a personal level. So, without further ado, let’s walk through the branching paths that have culminated into Ricardo Armando.

Sooooo…what’s the easiest question to answer first? I guess the “easiest” to answer is “Are you (still) a Christian?”

The answer is no . I am not a Christian and do not associate myself with The Church because, as a whole, Christianity in the US is perverted to fit the narrative of the figurehead vs using the full text to learn and gro w. Also, many Christians are selective with the verses they’ll learn from, the people they’ll accept, and the flexibility of the doctrine laid out. I do understand there are Christians out there who don’t follow the holier-than-thou mentality or those who are willing to hide behind false teachings in order to stay in with the majority, but I can’t be apart of the majority and be a small light in a covered room so I've opted out.

To answer the follow-up question: Yes, I still believe in God, but I’m in search of a broader truth with my spiritual studies. I believe there are kernels of truth in each belief system, but I don’t believe every system wholeheartedly with reckless abandon: I absorb the knowledge and teachings one system and accept it for what it is. For me, God is still the Nexus point from which all things derive from, but I can’t discount that other beings from other systems exist and have a high enough authority to be considered “gods”. A conversation for another time, but that is currently where I stand and probably always have.

Question 2: “Are you straight? What’s your sexuality?” Honestly, I just am and what I mean by that is I’m not sure I’d classify myself into one category or the other. I can say that I find the female body and aura more appealing and most likely would be married to my wife even if I were female born, but there are attractive men out there too and I can’t just skip over them like they don’t exist. I mainly run off vibes so if we connect on an emotional/spiritual level you’ve already got my attention. The features I find most attractive on anyone though are the eyes and the mouth: I truly see the eyes as windows to the soul and you can convey a lot of emotions with just your eyes. There’s an unsung beauty about eyes…one that’s not spoken, but understood. The mouth on the other hand is what can heal and/or hurt someone without touching them. Ideas and thoughts can be shared, stories can be told, and wisdom can be passed on. The way we communicate is so unique and really has that feel of duality (from a certain point of view). I can confidently say I’ve never been attracted to male genitals in my life: It’s just not something I find aesthetically pleasing or sexually enticing…it’s just kinda there…and hopefully proportional and that’s really all I’m willing to say on that.

Question 3: “Why do you connect with writing so heavily?” Personally, writing became my way to escape, entertain, and include my friends in something fun! I really picked up on writing at young age and found myself lost in worlds with spies, robots, Spider-Man, etcetera! What really pushed me into declaring myself a writer was my time with 5 English Teachers: Ms. Fowler my sophomore teacher, Mr. Lutz my junior teacher, Ms. Hardin my senior teacher, Dr. Coffman my poetry club leader, and Dr. Rafalowski my English professor in college. Because each of these teachers encouraged me to write and improve in different ways I found that I actually enjoyed creating worlds with words! I haven’t turned back since and while I’ve been absent for some time I’ve always found myself writing. Now, I’m pushing forward with my blog, being a creative coach, and writing a series of novels!

Question 4: “While mental health is a key component in overall quality of life, what got you so passionate about discussing mental health, suicide, and other touchy subjects? ” I’ve experienced doubt and skepticism when it came to my mental diagnosis of Clinical Depression: ADD and ADHA were just excuses to get kids hooked on pills, depression was nothing more than over exaggeration, and anything “stranger” was left in the crazy bin with serial killers and mass shooters. No one in my growing community really took those kinds of things seriously (including my parents) which made me feel like the crazy outcast so by the time I got to my teenage years I just assumed all of my depressive moments were my fault and over-exaggerated in some way. I never really knew how to truly handle my depression and my home environment was hostile enough for me to always be on subconscious high alert. I did attempt suicide during my sophomore year and was lucky I didn’t follow through with Divine Intervention...intervening. Since then I’ve been building my confidence with the help of amazing friends I’ve considered family and now speak up for those in similar situations.

For those who have known me and my family and/or years I’ll answer the follow-up question: my first toxic relationship was with my father due to a lot of mental/emotional manipulation and some physical reinforcement. Now I’m not going to sit up here and claim to be a perfect being or say I didn’t do anything wrong because that’s not the case: I lied about stupid stuff, I disobeyed my parents, and have broken multiple items by not being careful; The difference between reasonable discipline and excessive “discipline” were obvious though. There would be times where my brother Aiden and I would discuss who was getting the brunt of the force that day simply because if we didn’t everyone was getting hurt so we’d take turns bailing each other out regardless if either one of us actually did anything wrong or not. I had a time where our home alarm system went off late in the night and I was so out of it I didn’t get up from the bed. My dad gets up and shuts it off then comes to our room to ask if either one of us let the system go off to which we both replied no to since we were both practically asleep. Fast forward through a whoopen and being called a liar for about 30-45 mins he tells us to think about it and let him know in the morning. I still to this day don’t remember ever going downstairs, sleep walking or running past the sensor to set off the alarm and let it ring for 10-15 minutes, but I convinced myself that I must have slept ran through this situation (which is unlikely because I have zero sleep walking history and the alarm was way too loud for me to sleep run through and not wake up) so the next morning I reluctantly confessed and was told that this is why no one will believe me. My memory is still just as hazy and part of me still believes I actually ran downstairs, set the alarm off, and didn’t bother to do the logical thing (turn off the damn alarm). There are plenty of other worse scenarios where gaslighting, manipulation, and guilt tripping were used in order to either assert dominance or gain control (especially after the youngest one was born), but between the intense arguments my parents had, the mixed signals given after intense situations, and reinforcing the idea no one would believe us through subliminal actions/words I mainly internalized a lot of my struggles and pain.

Internalization became a way of life because it kept me out of a lot of painful situations, but there were still others that didn’t involve me but happened in front of me so by the time I was 20 I was eager to leave the toxic environment. Now, while there are a lot of traits I was just born with I also was molded by the environment I grew up in hence why I can engage a lot of situations with compassion and empathy. My whole childhood wasn’t bad, but I am to show others they are worth being listened to and respected because I understand where they’re coming from. I want to support others and be as encouraging as possible because I understand what it’s like to not have that support from people you’re supposed to look up to and rely on more than just a paycheck or a roof over your head or food on the table. All in all, my fire to support those who’ve had suicidal thoughts, those who struggle with mental illness, and understand others who believe differently than I do stems from my environment and my growth after slowly finding myself once again.

Question 5: “You’ve been talking about dōTERRA for a while now; what’s got you so hooked to dōTERRA and why should I hop in?” For me, I’ve had quite a few oil experiences which have greatly improved my mental and creative health (both of which are very important to me), I didn’t understand the power behind the oils and the intention until I had someone (my mentor and friend Mckynna) show me how these items were more than products: they’re a guiding tool to truly support me and my mission. You see, my truth is that I am powerful, I am creative, and I can accomplish my dreams through hard work and intention. My mission is to help you and our community see the power within and use it to support the next person, especially creatives who live here in Jackson, TN. There’s no reason why we should feel like we have to leave Jackson in order to be successful when the potential to do great things and support our families lies within our community! Will I one day move close to a beach? Hell yeah because beaches are awesome and I want to jog, write, and relax in tropical temperatures. Do I think we should feel free to succeed in Jackson by our own means? Yes! We deserve to chase our dreams and we should be able to support the community we live so it can grow and thrive for the next generation to do the same! Creatives have such a beautiful mindset and so often they’re passed over in places where music, writing, acting, etc aren’t the bread winners and I aim to change that through dōTERRA because dōTERRA provides a beautiful way to support whatever you’re doing and becoming financially independent. But even if you’re not looking to build, dōTERRA is great to have to fully support your health in all aspects of life. This isn’t a Walmart/Amazon purchase: This is a self investment into your life in which the return always doubles with the right intention and support ! I have a sister site specifically for dōTERRA ready now ( my.doterra.com/pvricardoarmando ) , but if you want to start your journey today all you have to do is reach out via the comment section, email, or Facebook DM !

Question 6: “Why do you call yourself a Creative Coach?” Simply put, this falls into my support system in dōTERRA and Point of Vision , however I call myself a Creative Coach because when it comes to stories I can tell pretty quickly whether or not the story is muddled, too difficult to understand, or way too wordy due to my research and studying on this topic for my own novel series. I’ve found that it’s easy to get wrapped up in your own work and notice these mistakes (mainly because I’ve thrown away thousands of words due to the story going nowhere AFTER rereading my story months later), but as I learn and grow I’m able to catch myself and fix the issues right then and there vs getting to chapter 8, page 250 and realizing you’ve been info dumping for 8 chapters…

My goal is to educate and support writers by reviewing their stories and coming up with exciting ways to write a scene, chapter, and book, hence why I call myself a Creative Coach instead of an editor who’s main focus is to review grammar and page structure which is important, but not where my passion blooms.

Currently, I’m not where I want to be weight wise and there’s still a lot I have to learn spiritually, but I’m excited to jump forward with you guys and see where our paths lead us! I have a lot of goals I’m tired of neglecting and a beautiful community I want to give back to as I find myself and support you guys. I want to speak on tough topics to be a space of positive discussion/debate; I want to support your health because you are worth the time and space you live in; I want to continue reaching for the stars so I can be the best writer I can be and be the best me I can be! I am Ricardo Armando and as I transition from one last name to the other in an effort to grow I want encourage you to speak out on injustices no matter how close to home they are, to always seek yourself out so you can grow, and support others who are working to get to a better place in their lives.

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If you’ve read this far, I thank you for reading and thank you for your support. Check out my patreon to support me and our community, hit me up when you’re ready to start your journey with dōTERRA, and tell me what other topics you want me to speak on in the future!

As always, Thank You for your time and…Until Next Time…

Go Forth in Peace & Love.

PAD/MAS/MAID: The Visceral Mindscape

Thu, 12 Aug 2021 23:00:02 GMT

⚠️Before we begin…⚠️

** THIS POST CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL/DISTURBING SITUATIONS! If you are easily disturbed or below the age of 16 this post is NOT for you! There are less intense posts on my Facebook Page you can support and discuss (Click the FB Logos to explore)**

**This is NOT meant to glorify suicide or encourage anyone to act on reckless behavior/decisions: This is strictly to encourage discussions on a sensitive topic revolving critical mental environments. Please Contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline (1-800-273-8255) or a local Mental Healthcare Professional if you and/or a loved one is struggling with suicidal thoughts.**

** Be respectful regardless of your stance. You are not required to agree or disagree with me or anyone who comments, but respectful banner is required to ensure we have a safe, open environment.**

So, let’s begin.

The hardest place to start is always the beginning…especially when talking about a subject that feels so wrong, but to not acknowledge and discuss it wouldn’t be very open and inclusive of me. So, as we talk about this subject I want to make it very clear that I find life very precious and do not intend this to encourage reckless behavior of ANY kind. My goal is to open dialogue about one of the hardest subjects out there: Physician Assisted Death (Suicide) for those with severe mental dissonance.

First things first: What is Physician Assisted Death (Medically Assisted Suicide)? This is a practice where a physician will provide a lethal dose of medication for the patient to self administer (usually by ingestion) with the sole intent of ending the patient’s life. This practice is not standard for mental patients in the US and is only legal in a few states whereas Canada and Belgium have begun to explore this option with different laws and regulations around PAD/MAS for severe cases nationally. As far as physical traumas go, PAD/MAS is only done when the patient’s physical state is beyond medical restoration or the quality of life cannot be improved and even then the acting physician still needs to evaluate the options available and their own personal beliefs as a healthcare provider before proceeding.

“Sooooooo…what’s this got to do with mental patients? I mean, they can’t really make sound decisions on life or death if they’re being manipulated by a mental disorder or whatever!”

Well, I don’t believe that’s a fair assessment of the patient in question. Speaking from personal experience, I can say I personally didn’t want to die just for the sake of dying: I wanted to escape from the situations life had me in at the time, I wanted to release my family from the failure and shame I brought to them, I didn’t want to feel pain every waking moment. I still had the mental capacity to fake emotions, assess what I thought was dangerous and find ways around them, and I still was of sound enough mind to understand the difference between dying just because and escaping pain. These were not lost because I had severe depression with a possible undiagnosed condition so to say people with mental disorders and the like don’t have the mental capacity to make clear decisions about their life and their desire to end their mental pain by any means available isn't correct in my opinion. There are plenty of people who live with mental disorders who function just as well as, if not better than, people who don’t. The biggest difference lies within their Mindscape and how toxic it may be.

Now, I don’t believe the process should be done without the right kind of care: This is a HUGE decision and just like with someone who has a brain tumor or rapidly spreading cancer all options MUST be reviewed before PAD/MAS is a viable option. Currently, Canada requires there be an 18 month time period where all options are explored to improve the quality of life for someone suffering with an aggressive mental illness. If the quality of life cannot be improved or worsens within that time span the request for PAD/MAS can be authorized at that time. All these steps have to be documented and time must be set aside to set affairs in order and let loved ones know the situation at hand. Having this option available and done in this manner not only dignifies the patient suffering but also gives a family peace of mind that the patient didn’t pass on in a visceral manner.

See, what a lot of people don’t realize is a lot of pain we feel when someone takes their own life doesn’t necessarily come from them dying: it comes from how they died. Knowing that a loved one was most likely scared, confused, and alone adds on to the tragedy at hand and with some people finding their loved ones in graphic states (depending on the method of choice) this adds to the collateral damage left behind. This doesn’t bode well since a majority of suicides are done by firearm or suffocation and I don’t believe I need to elaborate on the methods available within those two options.

“So are you saying we should just let people die then?? We’re just gonna let people go to their doctors and kill themselves??”

No, this is not what I’m promoting. I STRONGLY believe in fighting for the life of person as much as we can, but at what point do we look at the suffering individual and realize we’re going against their wishes? At what point does our personal agenda to preserve life become harmful to the person at hand? Take someone dealing with untreated schizoaffective disorder: their paranoia always on 11, always thinking someone is out to get you, constantly living in fear of hidden messages within the confines of society, not being able to trust your own mind because reality and fantasy blend into each other seamlessly. What if this person was you and this was your mental state EVERY day? Medicine didn’t work when you deemed it safe to take, psychotherapy didn’t help because every word felt like an attempt at manipulation, hobbies didn’t distract you because the voices you’d hear or the images you’d see wouldn’t give you enough time to breathe. You exist in this constant state waiting for release, but no release came. Similar conditions can be met under Major Depressive Disorder, Aggressive Bipolar I or II, Constant Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Severe Paranoid Personality Disorder, and so on. I’m not saying this is the only way out and I’m not saying everyone with a mental disorder is under this kind of distress every day because there are plenty of people (myself included) who live without going through constant periods of anguish with the support medications, natural solutions (like dōTERRA) , and/or support groups that keep us balanced. However, there are a small percentage of people who have tougher mindscapes to navigate and they can be more unrelenting than we can see.

All in all, I believe it’s our duty to seek out understanding, especially when it comes to issues we can’t tangibly see or physically touch. Personally, I’m kind of torn between the two aspects because while I would have clearly chosen to exercise my right to die if it were available about a decade ago I’ve also seen myself grow and I’ve been given the chance to chase my dreams again now that I’m 25 and pushing forward with you guys. I will say I’m not opposed to the idea because the methods many people use to end their lives usually end up being very gruesome and are typically done alone leaving many unanswered questions for both parties and plenty of pain due to the confusing tragedy that took place. With a proper set of guidelines in place you could still try to improve the quality of life, but if life did not improve at least there would be a chance to speak with those you care for before moving on from this life.

My challenge to you is not necessarily to agree with PAD/MAS or disagree with it: my challenge to you is to seek out understanding with those who struggle with mental disorders. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t make it any less real and in seeking understanding you might not only broaden your horizons, but potentially save somebody’s life. I know if it weren’t for a few select people in my life currently and a few who are on another path right now I wouldn’t be here. So thank you to those who connected with me if you happen to read this because your connections saved my life.

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If you've made it to the end I wanna thank you for reading! I know this is not an easy topic to discuss, but I truly feel like opening up the floor on this could not only help us understand others, but also encourage others to speak up and ask themselves tough questions. At the end of the day I strive to be a person who will listen, learn, and share my thoughts and when it comes to mental health I want to advocate all sides as best as I can while I learn more.

Don't forget you can support me on Patreon (Link's in the "Support/Services" Tab) so posts can come out faster and we can build a strong community as well as fund bigger projects for you guys (like short films, custom stories, and so much more!)!

I'm also a dōTERRA Wellness Advocate so if you're looking to further support yourself, start a wellness journey, or reach newer heights I can provide you with a roadmap/toolbox in dōTERRA! Email me with the link below or find me on Facebook (Click the Icons 'cause it's easier)!

As always, thank you so much for your support! Go forth in Peace and Love!

Until Next Time!

I'm...Me!

Fri, 02 Jul 2021 19:14:53 GMT

⚠️Before we begin…⚠️

**This is my opinion and you’re free to agree/disagree respectfully. Any kinds of disrespect will not be tolerated, but feel free to share your opinions down below.**

**The topic is triggering and may result some to negatively lash out. If you're one of those people please skip this post and check out the other topics I've covered!**

**Reader Discretion is Advised**

Dysphoria…what is dysphoria? What is dysphoria and how is this related to the LGBT+ Community? Let’s find out today together!

Well if we go online and look up the definition we’ll most likely comeback a bit confused because “Dysphoria ” in general terms and “Dysphoria” within the confines of the LGBT+ Community actually have slightly different meanings. Dysphoria in general is “A state of feeling uneasy, unhappy, or unwell” which is usually paired with symptoms of depression, mania, psychos, etcetera. This state of being (if left unchecked/untreated) can lead to suicidal thoughts, self harm, homicidal thoughts, paranoia, and so on.

“Okay, but everyone can go through hard times: that’s just a part of life man.”

“Yeah! I agree!”

“Sounds like just anyone can have dysphoria.”

But that’s the thing: Not everyone goes through this! Sure, there are plenty of ups and downs in life, but being in a constant state of depression is not normal and quite dangerous as stated above. Being on the verge of a manic episode is not just a fact of life: it’s a potential symptom of brain chemistry wired differently and being over/under active depending on what’s dysphoria is linked to on the other side. But how does this relate to the LGBT+ Community? Surely I’m not suggesting people who experience Gender dysphoria are mentally unwell…right?

Of course I’m not saying Gender Dysphoria is a disorder: it’s a state of being. Now I’ve got your attention! So, if Dysphoria is a state of feeling uneasy, unhappy, or unwell, what is Gender Dysphoria?

“It’s the same thing, but with gender?”

“It’s when someone is unhappy due the disconnect between what they feel like vs the physical body they’re in?”

“I ain’t gon lie to you chief…I don’t know.”

Nice! Some of you got close, some on the money, but the working definition agreed upon so far is: “the condition of feeling one's emotional and psychological identity to be at variance with one's birth sex.” Essentially, being in a state of uneasy or unhappiness because your physical sex does not match the sex of your inner self. There’s a lot of debate as to what causes this, but regardless of the cause this is an event that continues to occur in society. Does this make them any more or less themselves? I’d say it doesn’t. I believe the core essence of a person will stand out no matter the gender they are or meant to be; the only difference is whether or not that step is taken to seriously make that change. You’re still a human being at the end of the day and should be treated as such with the same amount of respect and courtesy given before this change. Is this a phenomena I’ve experienced? No, I’ve never experienced Gender Dysphoria.

“Then why do you believe in it?”

Because I’ve been told depression isn’t real. ADHD isn’t real, schizophrenia is a “white” disorder. Even when the science showed otherwise these conditions were either brushed over or white washed, but when you meet someone who has these conditions, states of being, disorders, etc it might give you an aha moment you’d never thought you’d have.

Just because it doesn’t happen to me doesn’t mean it’s not real. As someone who embraces self discovery I encourage you all who experience gender dysphoria to live in your truth and know that there’s nothing wrong with you: you are special in a way others may not be and that’s okay because you’re still you and you’re still important. You matter and how you feel matters.

So my challenge to you the reader is to seek understanding from those who experience life different from you. Some of the best lessons come from the ones most different from us and, ironically, they can end up to be more similar to us than we realize.

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If you made it this far that means you enjoyed the post and I’m so happy you did! Dysphoria (specifically Gender Dysphoria) is something outside of my range of knowledge so I didn’t know if I should or could speak on the matter, but I realized supporting others doesn’t mean I’m an expert on what I support: it means I’m open to learn and grow with others different from me. As with any posts, if you like it share it with your friends, comment topics for me to speak on, and support the Patreon (or cashapp $pointofvisiontm) as we continue to grow our beautiful community! Quick side note (because I know it’ll get pointed out): The reason people who make the change when going through Gender Dysphoria are still considered transgender is because (in my opinion) Gender Dysphoria is a state of being or sense of self which falls under gender which is not synonymous with sex. There are only two sexes in the in the human race (once again, in my opinion and for the time being), but there are multiple genders (aka states of being) thus giving us the complexity of humanity we have present.

Well, as always, thank you for your time and your support and…

Until Next Time!

I Wish I wasn’t Born a…

Tue, 22 Jun 2021 19:42:36 GMT

⚠️ Before we begin…⚠️

**This is my opinion and you’re free to agree/disagree respectfully. Any kinds of disrespect will not be tolerated, but feel free to share your opinions down below.**

**The topic is triggering and may result some to negatively lash out. If you're one of those people please skip this post and check out the other topics I've covered!**

**Reader Discretion is Advised**

************************************************************************

Hey! It’s been a while huh? We haven’t sat on this bench together in a long time so, if you want, I’d like to revive our time here with a bit of world building. When you’re ready I want you to clear your mind and take a deep breath…let the void fill up in darkness. When I get to three I want you to fill the void with an image of freedom.

..1..

…2…

….3….

Tell me what you see.

………….

Oh…I see…yes! Interesting choice of freedom. There’s a boldness to it that’s just subtle enough to extend its message elegantly! It seems that you haven’t lost your touch. Now lemme ask you this, if my version of freedom looked different from yours would mine be inherently wrong? It’s this question that’s currently being thrown around in different forms across the medias of the world, but one that has existed since the dawn of religion. But there’s a deeper question I pose to you: Is your free will really free will? Do you feel like you truly have a choice to be whoever you want to be? Take some time to think about that as we dive into today’s topic.

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You know, I’ve always had question in regards to life in general: I was always hyper curious about why angels were whom they were and why demons were who they were and why we were so special when we didn’t have the perks of Heaven or the frivolity of Hell. It was those curiosities that led me to be a bit strange. I never really talked much about them because as I was growing up I was taught to accept this fact without question. The same could be said about my Christian upbringing altogether and before I get too ahead of myself this is not a hate post bashing on my parents and claiming I grew up in dire straights from a financial or religious standpoint: I believe my parents did what they could to guide me as best as they could based on the acceptance and knowledge they’d come across during their lifetime at that point. There’s nothing wrong with instilling virtues and values in your children through religion (in my case Christianity), however I ended up believing in God because my parents did; I studied my books of the Bible because my Awana Leaders would be proud of me; I memorized John 3:16 because my church community worshipped this verse more than the God who breathed life into John’s words. People who strayed away from the church were lost, people who rejected the church were heathens under the Devil’s Influence so I opted to keep my questions to a minimum and fake my belief until I believed it. I prayed over people, sang songs in the choir, meditated, fasted, you name it and I’d probably done it (except overseas mission work and becoming a church leader after schooling) but nothing really came up. It was only until I went beyond the 4 walls of Christianity were I started to see people and their ideals in a whole new light. It was after I almost committed suicide where I began to truly feel the power behind free will. It wasn’t immediate and I’m still discovering new things about myself as well as the world around me, but it’s within this string of events where I truly began to see the self destructive nature of Free Will within the confines of Religion. In essence:

“I wish I wasn’t born a Christian: I wish I had chosen to be a Christian.”

If Free Will is the crux of our belief system then we should be free to see the evidence and say “Ok, I’m all in” or “Nah, this ain’t it,” but the issue with being born into a system like this is that you get conflicting messages. As I stated above, you end up being told “this is just what we do” and you’re shown all the lines not to cross, but once you question this reality the community looks at you strange or brushes you off as if what you asked is common knowledge. “The people on the outside don’t understand because they’re on the outside and being like them is not good.” The irony lies within Free Will itself because if you can truly choose then you should be free to ignore it, to choose differently. There shouldn’t be an issue with you taking a break from a community or reject their mission altogether because Free Will says you can choose as you wish, but the people within that system display otherwise.

You could take this same example and apply it to democracy: If we truly wanted to, as a country, elect a dictatorship we technically could or if we decided to throw it all out in place of anarchy or an oligarchy we could do that too. The seeds to our own self destruction lies with in the confines of our systems. It’s what makes it powerful, but also what makes it fragile. I guess the more you have the more risk there is to have it run wild.

However, even with all this being said the painful truth behind this behavior hasn’t been revealed yet. We’ve all heard of people following the rules just because or going through the motions because it feels right. You might look at devotion like that and say “this comes from a sense of duty. “ You might say “the rituals we do are sacred and absolute,” but the problem is many have lost sight of why these rituals and rules exist in the first place. Why do we break bread and sip wine? Why do we kneel to pray? Why do we get baptized? Being truly involved is different than just being present but too many people are content with being present. Why is that?

Because it makes us feel safe, like we’re doing something but, in reality, we’re just as active as pillars of salt with this mentality. Too many of us are content to see the four walls and find safety, too many people want to see these borders because it means they don’t have to do anything. We end up never get off our collective asses and start actually doing something. The world stays simple within the walls built around the world, but once the complexity of life comes in it scares many of us back behind the wall.

This is why I wish I chosen to be Christian! Because I know devout people who have gone through trails, saw the evidence, and said “Yes! I’m all in!” I also know people who have gone the opposite route and said “Thanks for your time, but this isn’t for me.” The difference with being brought up in these ideals and being introduced to them from an objective standpoint makes a big difference and, in my opinion, produces more stable beliefs because those beliefs are our own! The power behind your system, viewpoint, idea, passion, etcetera is yours and that’s what makes you and your true free will powerful. It may not be easy and it may be scary, but once you make it to where you want to be you’ll see that your life, your choices, your free will really does have power and meaning. My challenge to you is to go beyond yourself and ask the question “is my free will really my own?”

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Thank you for reading! Feel free to start a discussion around this topic. Do you agree or disagree? Leave some topics for me to share my opinion on and Support this content by visiting my Patreon Page of the same name (or just click on "Support/Service" to get to the Page easier!)

Thank you for your support and for being you!

Until Next Time!

Point of Vision

The Toxic Breath: The 8 Year Vaper

⚠️Before We Begin…⚠️

**This is my personal account with my personal observations and conclusions to vape/cigarette use. This is not professional medical advice/instruction for your personal health.**

**This is my personal opinion, and you are free to agree/disagree with the view points in this post in a respectful manner. This is

to encourage discussion and reflection, not become a battleground of who’s right or wrong.**

**This post may contain disturbing themes and situations along with strong language that is not suitable for those under the age of sixteen (16). Reader Discretion is Advised.**

The Imposter

The Mental Edge: Discussion of a Vile Fog

The Vibrant Connection (Intimacy)

Ricardo, A History

⚠️Before We Begin...⚠️

**I want to thank you for taking your time to read this post. This post is special to me and I hope this serves as brief overview on me and as an invitation to speak your truth and follow your goals.**

**You're welcome to comment any questions you have and I will answer as best as I can in a follow-up post.**

PAD/MAS/MAID: The Visceral Mindscape

I'm...Me!

I Wish I wasn’t Born a…

This is my personal account with my personal observations and conclusions to vape/cigarette use. This is not professional medical advice/instruction for your personal health.

This post may contain disturbing themes and situations along with strong language that is not suitable for those under the age of sixteen (16). Reader Discretion is Advised.

I want to thank you for taking your time to read this post. This post is special to me and I hope this serves as brief overview on me and as an invitation to speak your truth and follow your goals.

You're welcome to comment any questions you have and I will answer as best as I can in a follow-up post.